A Letter to Netflix [WTFingF?]


Hello Netflix,

We’ve been friends for a while now.  Remember back in the day before streaming movies was the norm and I had to wait a whole two days to watch my movie?  Ha Ha, yeah the good old days.  Now all I have to do is pick up my remote and you’re build right in to my AppleTV.  The future is here and I’m a stay at home and watch all the movies kinda guy, well 90% of the time at least.  Have you seen the new Avengers movie!? Whoa!

Okay, look, we need to chat.  You know I love my movies.  Some weeks I can even watch a dozen or more.  I do have this problem we need to discuss though.  Well buddy, to be honest I have a bunch of problems.  I know, just hear me out.  All the documentaries and indie flicks are really awesome.  I don’t know what I would do without you exposing me to all these talented directors and the plethora of foreign films I never would have watched.  I just feel like I’m missing out on so much and I was hoping you’d hear me out and we could chat about it.

You finally got Ghostbusters after only having Ghostbusters 2 for a long time so that was cool.  But when I search for Iron Man I only find Iron Man 2.  See, I understand that maybe you’re hurting a little financially (I totally understand) and that means you can’t afford the best movies for the $8 a month I pay you.  If that’s what it comes down to though I would totally be more than happy paying 10, 12 or even up to $25 a month for some better top tier Hollywood blockbusters.  C’mon, what’s it gonna take to stream Ghost Protocol?  Amazon has it for $2.99.  I’ve got it!  Maybe you can add an ala cart feature to your service!  You, Amazon and iTunes already have my credit card.  How come Netflix isn’t letting me spend even more money like the other guys?

It’s not just the limited amount of movies you have.  It’s that I know you have a bajillion of them and I find it really, really hard to browse through your catalog.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve run out of movies to watch.  You know what I just did?  I Googled Best Spy Movies and I found a bunch of websites that have their top ten movies.  Even some customer on Amazon compiled and published their own list. Uh, how come I we don’t have that on your website?  A few years ago you were much more social and my friends and I could recommend movies to each other right through your site.  I wish you still had that built in without relying on some third party service.  Lists would be good.  While I’m browsing your interface on my AppleTV it would be great to have a list of ‘Your Friends Recommend These’ movies.

Do you know why you need to add member created lists and generally just need to get people involved with your website?  Because your robo-recommendations are absolute shit.  “How often do you watch Golf Movies like Happy Gilmore?”  Are you kidding me?  “How often do you watch Movies Based on Classic Literature like I, Robot?”  Seriously?  Finally, my favorite “How Often Do You Watch Gambling Movies Like Casino Royal”.  When I want to watch a Sci-Fi and Fantasty movie, yes, Charlton Heston’s Omega Man is a good recommendation.  I’ll even give you Clockwork Orange, but Stuart fucking Little?!  Where’s The Neverending Story?  Where’s E.T.?  Where’s The Day The Earth Stood Still?  How about instead of you robo-catagorizing these movies in the wrong genres you crowd source and get your devoted users to help you out?  And get some real movies man.

Here we go bud, three little things that would make me a crazy happy Netflix customer.

  • Take my money!
    We’re willing to pay for better content. Add a plan for better movies for 2x the price or let us pick ala cart.
  • Let us talk movies!
    My friends and I, we’re always talking movies. Let’s do the talking right there on the movie page! We want to recommend movies to each other too cause you’re super bad at that.
  • We’re smarter than you!
    We’d be more than happy to move Casino Royal out of Gambling Movies and in to Spy Movies for ya. Let us help you.
  • Bonus
    For the love of peanut butter ice cream sandwiches, get some better movies.  Pronto.

Netflix, I hope you’re still okay with our friendship here.  I’m not going anywhere but I have to apologize for not looking to excited when you come to visit.  You’re not my favorite service these days and sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t answer the door when you come knocking.  It’s just going to make me sad to see you.  Maybe you can make some adjustments and we’ll be the best of buds again.  Some day.

Warm regards,
Anthony

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